Pop up here! There! Everywhere!

I want to know, how many of you, really? How many of you absolutely hate popups?  You know those little demons that litter your phone and computer asking everything from, “do you except our policy”? “How are we doing?”, “please give us 5 stars”.  What got me thinking was a recent visit to Sam's Club. I wanted to start using their app feature to scan different items so I don’t have to wait in line to check out. (neat feature check it out) I opened the Sam's Club app and before I can hit any button, I get a “pop up”. “Give us five stars, give us four stars, give us three stars, give us your first born”. I click out of that, and I get ready to click into the scanning portion of the app and another “pop up”, “Tell us how you're enjoying your experience”. At this point I'm livid, I’m swearing in public and the first lady is laughing, “what’s wrong”? “I just want to scan the damn items” (I didn’t say damn, I really think I was swearing out loud at this point).  I don’t want to take a personal survey about dog treats and dietary items” ...  A couple of minutes later and some clicking of tiny little “XX’s and I finally got to the correct screen. I can report the rest of the shopping trip was “smooth sailing” until I used my daughters credit card at checkout instead of mine. Whoops!

This episode got me thinking about who the hell invented this nuisance screen, which is not in the least bit, taxing, annoying, a complete hassle, and let’s not forget a finger torturer providing an all-around general pain in the neck experience for just about anyone using a device or computer.  Everywhere you visit online, you get “pop ups”.  “Enjoying your experience”? “Please except our terms of business” “Please rate us”. “Has your dog been spayed or neutered”? Everywhere you click, there’s some sort of “pop up”.  Who invented this archaic system of collecting data? I want to know!! Well, with a little research I found his name… it is Ethan Zuckerman! A code writer that was tasked to solve a specific problem. Here is what he stated in an article in the Atlantic.

“It was a way to associate an ad with a user’s page without putting it directly on the page, which advertisers worried would imply an association between their brand and the page’s content. Specifically, we came up with it when a major car company freaked out that they’d bought a banner ad on a page that celebrated anal sex. I wrote the code to launch the window and run an ad on it. I’m sorry. Our intentions were good.”

So, before you riot and burn him at the stake! He was just a guy that had a job to do and he apologized publicly. I don’t think he was trying to “single handedly learned how to piss off every person in the world”, (maybe that is too strong), annoy! He was just doing his job, which has now led to an out-of-control society taking advantage of these little “demons”. (Let’s think about this, ladies and gentlemen). The guy who invented the “pop up” was motivated by an “anal sex ad”. Oh, the joy of letting this little nugget rest in my brain till the next time I see a little devil come rising to the top of the screen. If thinking about “Anal Sex” helps me endure the next barrage of small window closings, you might see me laughing before the anger sets back in. For better or worse, we are at least in the “Know”, and thank God these little pests are not asking your about your car warranty!   

Thank you for being my Mother!!

 My mom of 57 years, the wife of my father for 60 years and Gods magnificent work for 78 years passed away peacefully at home on January 20th, 2023.   I will miss her more than you can imagine, and I can imagine quite a bit, believe me.   Why do I feel so empty, why do I feel so alone?  I'll be honest, over the last year in my mom's failing health I started to pull back, I hated seeing her struggling with not only just living but having quality of life.  I wanted to have those long phone conversations like I used to do but it was hard.  I could tell she was struggling just to talk so I didn't want to be a burden.  When I saw her in the hospital after a corrected heart problem she looked well.  She was eating a burger and we talked for a while about kids, my band, traveling plans.  That was really the last enjoyable conversation I would have.  Future encounters were short and hard for her to manage. I feel bad her last year of life was such a struggle, she was always the persistent housewife and living at home unable to do those duties took its toll.  

    My mom loved to talk about the grandkids. She always wanted to know how they were doing and what's new.  I didn't live close, so I called from time to time, and she was always asking "how's Reagan, how's Rylee".  Not deep conversations but never less conversations that now I see were my validation.   Yes Validation.  My mom was my validation that I was being a great dad.  My kids had a split household, and many times in divorce kids ended up getting poor grades or have social problems.  Mine were always on the "A" honor roll and never left a path of problems to clean up.  Mom once asked me, "how did your kids end up so good", I would say, "luck of the draw I guess" but that is not the truth and I never told her the truth. The truth is "YOU!" You gave me the keys to the "kingdom of great parenting".  You planted the seed a long time ago when I was separating from my wife.  She told me "Always give your kids 100 percent". No lecture, no long talk, she simply said, give your kids 100 percent.  I soon realized what that meant.  

    In a divorce many times the kids are pawns for the parents.  You pay 50 percent and I'll pay 50 percent.  Then one parent pays 20 percent, and the kids suffer.  She said they are 100 percent your kids and if you give them 100 percent and the other parent chips in 20 then they get 120 percent.  Problem solved! That is all it took for me to realize what I had to do to be a good parent.  Just give them 100 percent. 

    As I look back at the conversations we had at Christmas, birthdays, weddings, and hundreds of phone calls, I realize not only I was getting my mom's validation, I think she was getting some also.  I only hope that I have surpassed her expectations in the father department.  That I have validated her work as a mother.  I know she is smiling in heaven. I know we will still talk, it will be a one-way conversation, but we will talk.  I can't wait to see you again and tell you what a great role model and parent you were, but I think someone up there has taken care of that for me.  I love you and will miss you mom.  

Letter from a Father to his Daughter

    I thought I would take time to post a letter I wrote to my Daughter on her 18th Birthday.  I couldn't always give much but I always gave my all.  So for her 18th birthday I gave her my recap on 18 years of being a father.  Hope you enjoy the read! 

"18 + years ago I became a father for the first time.  I had no idea what I was doing, how baby things worked.  How this beginning journey of fatherhood would transpire for my first born.  I had to figure this "father" thing out and I had to do it in a hurry.  I gave it my best effort.  I feed you when you cried, I rocked you in a car seat at 3 am when you cried, I changed your poopy pants (what seemed like 15 times a day) when you cried.  Then you smiled at me and it was all over.  You won!!  You captured my heart.

I always thought my happiest moments were single strikes in time, getting married, your first words but I was wrong.  Happiness with you is a daily event.  Watching you grow and learn. Even in times when money was tight and I was on my own, just going to the mall, or park, those memories I will always cherish.  When I look at all the pictures of the things we did or places we went I sometimes tear up because I only remember how great it was to share those with you.  If it were possible, I would experience every day again, all 6699 of them. 

Being your father has been my greatest honor, it has brought me more love than I can humanly express.  If someone asked me “what’s your favorite thing to do”, I would say being your dad is tops.  Tops because nothing can be better, absolutely nothing.  You were never a mistake, and inconvenience, a pain, a chore, a hindsight. You are always front and center in my world.  When you cry, I cry, when you laugh, I laugh, when your heart is broken mine is also broken. 

As you travel thought your next years of college, graduate and get your first teaching job, grow to have your own family,  remember you will not be alone, you will never be alone on your journey.  I will always be by your side and you will always be front and center. The best part is I get to be your Father!! "  

--Love Dad!!

Why do I care!

Why do I care if a radio talk show host passes away.  I have never meet Rush Limbaugh, never called and talked to him.  Why do I feel sadness then?  When I listen to the broadcast my heart is empty.  Yes it is sadness for someone that I never had the pleasure of meeting or talking too.  It took a little time to figure out but I think I know why.  It's the memories of what I did while I listened to the broadcast.  Here let me explain.  

When Rush first came on the radio or more aptly said, when I first listened to Rush Limbaugh, I was working selling insurance in Rochester MN.  It was the Bush vs Clinton election and my conservative Ideas were being echoed by some new radio personality.  It was nice to have someone on my side since too many people thought getting on the Clinton train was "cool".  (I could go off in a thousand directions about why I am conservative but lets save that for another time).  Anyway I bought Rushes book "The way it out to be" on cassette so I could listen in my car. (Couple of years ago I found it in my garage and had no way to play it so I pitched it) I digress.  I was delighted to listen to someone that had said the same things I have always believed.  Bought the next book also but soon time and distractions got the best of me and I quit listening.  

  I think I picked up the listening again in the Obama years after I started a new job.  I was trying to loose weight and decided to go walking every lunch hour and during that time I would "Tune in".  I spent many lunch hours walking and every day I could count on Rush to be there with me.  Even if it was super cold, I would still, suit up, and, tune in, just to go on the walk,  like Rush was some motivating coach poking me to get off my seat.  Couple years past and Rush releases an app, now I could download podcasts with no commercials, listen to more of him and less commercials about "Cars for Kids" This made the experience that much more enjoyable and kept me in my routine.  His enthusiasm for Apple products, golf, and just life in general was infectious so politics was not the only reason I tuned in.  I always new when a new Apple update was being released because I listened to a Political show.  Makes no sense correct?  So my connection was not merely a sense of politics but more as a listener of a great entertainer.

This was the ritual for many years until "COVID"  (and you thought 4 letter words were bad)  moved me to a home office. Now I had to figure out a new routine, but I could always count on that 11-2 slot being filled with a friendly voice.  A co-pilot ensuring me that everything will be OK.  We will land this plane together!  So that is why I am sad.  My friendly voice, on and off, for 30 years is now at rest.  Last year my Favorite band lost their drummer to cancer and you guessed it, the band is Rush!  I felt the same way as I do now. Empty!  Rush Limbaugh was someone I could always count on to entertain me.  If I felt sad I would tune in and he would make me laugh.  If I felt overwhelmed I would listen and be reassured.  If I was just tiered of listening to all the political bullshit on the left I could count on his opinion to balance.  

As I grow older I have learned to expect more change.  Not always good or bad, but change.  I know COVID will  go away, my band will start taking more of my time and things will get back to a new normal.  Maybe the radio show will morph into something new that will be as entertaining, I can only hope because those will be extremely large shoes to fill.  Right now I will have memories to look back on and new ones to make.  Thanks Rush Limbaugh for filling that 3 hour gap in my life every weekday.  Thanks for the knowledge, the grace, the technology and mostly the humor.  You will be missed!    

Social What and Why!

 

This has nothing to do with Trump, but you probably wouldn’t read my rant if I said, “My Rant” anyway Facebook has become a vial sewer of political division and censorship.  Relatives and friends pitted against one another, spewing nothing but political talking points.   I cannot have a conversation without someone yelling…Trump is unhinged, dangerous etc, and I am not even discussing politics.  I want to be on FB to discuss music, family, friends.  I cannot do this anymore since EVERYONE is political.  What guitar should I buy? Fuck Trump! Nice puppy pictures, Biden is an asshole! Think about it… Did the national politics make a difference in your life?  Did 8 years of Obama change anything in your life, NOPE.  Did 4 years of Trump change anything.  For me NO! Then why is everyone so divided? Hmm  

Another thing, I am tired of being told that as a conservative I am some sort of Race hating white supremacist.  As a white man I am now the worst vial human that ever has existed.  It only gets worse from there.  FB will post all this lefty shit and litter my feed with political crap but if I try to defend myself or other conservatives then I get put in FB jail for policy infringement.  You must except the fact that as a white conservative man you are nothing but a waste of life and a vile racist.  How dare you exist. 

I’m sad, I liked FB.  But what FB has turned into is a mission to silence not debate the other side.  I like reading the fun stories about friend lives.  I like connecting with my relatives. Social media has made this fun and enjoyable but not anymore.  I do not have the time to delete and scrub the crap from my feed.  It just keeps piling up.   

So, I have made a conscious decision to resign my time on FB as I did twitter (another vial cesspool of crap).  I will no longer read my feed, post any items, or participate in anything personal on FB.  I will continue to work on the band sites but personally I am done.  You will no longer see family photos, puppy pictures, anything meaningful in my life will not be post on this pile of crap social media platform. 

I will not be offline; I can still be found on Instagram or snapchat.  In addition, politics will be off my radar for the next couple of years also.  I do not care to hear anything our leaders have to say, it won’t make a difference in my life anyway.  National politics will only fuel more haters on FB and add to more censorship. So Facebook you are now on notice and you are in My Jail!! Good luck getting out!  

Heart Broke!

I'm Stunned, saddened, heart broke.  Why? As you now know if you are any type of musician, Neil Peart of the Band Rush passed away recently. I don't think I need to list the thousands of credentials this man holds in playing, performing, writing, traveling, and well, just being one incredible human.  Instead of  writing his biography, which would take hundreds of pages to complete, I would like to tell you how Rush played a roll in my life.
   I was sitting on the couch yesterday and I had this empty feeling in my stomach as I read all the condolences on twitter.  Why was I feeling down? Why did I have teary eyes? Neil was not my relative, friend, hell I'm sure he and I new nothing about each other. So why did I feel so empty?  I didn't feel this way when Minnesota native Prince passed away suddenly.  I had to think on this one. So I did and I think I found my answer.
    I was introduced to Rush around the late 70's after the 2112 album was released. I remember listening to some songs and I thought they were cool but I didn't really pick up on the band till my friend Sunny got me hooked on the album "Permanent Waves"...the song "the Spirit of the Radio" had now become my favorite song and soon the band pushed out the likes of STYX and Kansas as my band of choice.  The album was released in January of 1980, so I have literally been listening and collecting memories for 40 years.  I think that is it.  Not the band so much but all the memories of the places, friends, and good times that I have collected over the course of  40 years while listening to Rush music. I measured everything in Rush years. I think that is the easiest way to put it. I can't always tell you what I was doing in my life in a certain year but I can tell you what happened when I opened a new Rush Album, VHS, DVD, or saw them live, you get the idea. What was I doing in 1988? I don't quite remember but I do remember getting into my red Chevy chevette in the driveway of my parents home and opening a cassette of "A show of hands".  I remember going to lunch with a Target coworker in 1984 and listening to "Distant Early Warning" I couldn't tell you the name of the person I was with but I remember the moment.  The trip I took to Winona MN and listening to the whole album "Presto" fall of 1989.  I remember living in my apartment in Rochester and watching "Chronicles" on VHS, I think I wore that tape out. I was such a big fan I new the producers on the albums, the road crew on the liner notes, I felt as though I was part of the family in a weird way.  Every year is marked with a song, album or tour! Every memory marked by a Rush moment in time. The memories go on, and on, and on. Too may to list.
    Now it is sad to say my clock is permanently broken.  Never to be wound again by the magic of my favorite band.   I always held hope that some day the band would once again come off hiatus and start a new project. Restarting my Rush clock and collecting more memories. Now that Neil Peart's clock has ticked its last tick mine too has also run dry. 40 years of tick, tick, tick, then nothing but silence.  I now understand my grief.  I understand why I have this pit in my stomach.  I will continue to listen to the great music of Rush relive the years and make new memories, but now I guess they will be measured by father time. Rest in Peace Neil Peart.

So you wanna be a Rock Star "The Clock Radio"

We moved from southern Texas to Minnesota in January 1972.  For a southern boy, January in Minnesota was just not so much a change in weather but a WTF moment.  Starting a new school in the middle of 1st grade, adopting a new culture, (you talk funny) and travelling from the gulf coast to snows Ville was quite a shock.  I went from "Howdy" to "Hi", from "Coke" to "Pop" and "Ya'll" to "what's Ya'll?"  Minnesota is worlds apart from the southern coast of Texas and if its winter, Its Cold!  The first point of business was to get outfitted with the proper snow gear.  In the early 1970's the fashion was a snowmobile suit and snowmobile boots. (What's a snowmobile?) Since we were from the south mom made sure we were properly outfitted. You remember the kid from "A Christmas story" the one that couldn't move, walk, or well do anything but yell "Help me up!" that was me. Talk about sheer shock, a southern boy in cowboy boots and shorts getting stuffed into some sort of moon landing gear.  Well enough on the weather, I still live here and it's still cold.  Spring could not come quick enough for this Texan but spring sprang then came summer, then the lazy, hazy, days of a hot humid summer, (now that's more like it).  August saw my birthday and after scoring some cash from relatives I had enough money to make a large purchase. 20 bucks large. I can't quite remember where my mom and I went but I remember making a purchase, my first music device.  You might think a guitar, or guitar amp, but no, this was a device that would have more effect on my life than any of those items combined, a device that would soon fill my nightstand with music and time.  Time? Yes I said "Time".  I purchased a clock radio, and this thing was cool! It had an AM FM radio along with a sleep timer, alarm buzzer, and lightly illuminated clock flipper that had a small incandescent light that was warm and inviting.  The two-inch speaker pumped out all the hits of the time, "Don't go breaking my heart", " With a little luck", "Dream on", what an amazing little box.  This was the device that told me Elvis has died, "sorry seems to be the hardest word" and expect a high of -20 today.  This one simple device made sure I woke up every day for school and pumped my ears full of dreams and memories.  Every night I would reach over to my nightstand, set the sleep timer and fall asleep to the glow of the small light and the tick of the clock while listen to "Kung fu fighting" or "Rhinestone cowboy."  Many years later the flipper thing started slowing down, the 2 inch speaker didn't work as it should, and disco was dead. Like most things, technology started knocking on the door which meant it was time to replace its dated display and electronics.  I'm not sure when me and Mr Emerson parted ways but Elton John, Chicago, Aerosmith and many of the other 70's bands were a part of my life thanks to a two inch speaker mounted in a plastic box with a tiny flip display sitting on a wire nightstand illuminating not only the night but my future.

So you wanna be a Rock Star, the beginning

In order to understand where my future lies its important to understand where I came from.  The Mayflower was a ship that carried the pilgrims from England to America.  The captain of the ship, Miles Standish, was a....ok ok that is a little too far back.  I guess I could start with my Parents, without them I literally would not exist.  My parent grew up in two different towns connected by a central school.  Dad was from Mantorville and Mom was from Kasson.  They married in 1962 and 3 years later 2 boys were bouncing off the walls in a small home in Florida.  Dad was in the navy and had transferred a few times so Florida was our current home.  I don't remember much but I do have a lot of cute pictures.  If I could have stayed that cute I think I would have had a career in the movies.  (Eat your heart out Macaulay.) Growing up in Florida was a fun hot humid childhood. I do remember one day my dad bought me a toy machine gun and my brother got a pirate hat, patch, and plastic knife.  I always wanted to be a swashbuckler so I begged him to trade for a bit, me giving up my gun and he loaning me the hat, patch and knife, but I quickly learned that trades are not always fair, and no way was he going to part with the knife.  I begged and cried but no way was that knife coming off his side, so I got to run around saying "Aye Matyey" and swinging a stick and he got to keep the goods.  (Knowing my brother he probably still has the outfit in a box.)  I shouldn't degrees since this is about my music career and not pirates and GI Joes.  At three years of age I was not into music yet, I was still honing my tricycle skills, and searching for my blanket that I constantly misplaced but one important song that I do remember is not really a song but a TV show.  Every time the speaker on the TV blared out the song "Flipper" I would come running like a bloodhound after a convict.  If you don't remember the show, go ahead and google it, I've got time.  Flipper was the first show or song I can remember.  Few things stand out in my mind but flipper will always hold a spot in my heart.

 I don't remember my parents listening to the radio, stereo, or really anything musical.  They never played and instrument, they never sang in the shower.  Matter a fact quite a few years later I discovered an album collection in my parents attic space which absolutely blew me away since I never thought of them as music lovers or hell even listeners.  More on that later.  Where did all this love of music come from?  My brother didn't listen to the radio, or start and album collection I could pilfer from. My parents never had anything but the TV on.  I did have a grandmother that played the piano and and great grandfather that sang at hundreds of weddings and funerals, but if I keep going backward we will be back on the mayflower sailing back to England.  I guess the question should not be where I found the love but that I found the love, a love that has endured eight presidents and counting.

 

So You Wanna be a Rock Star "Chasing the dream"

I have decided that it is time, time for what your say? Time to write about a passion that has consumed me since, well since I can remember.  Its a story about a fire that started when I was a young teen living in Kasson Minnestoa and has raged for more than 40 years. Its a story about many people, fun times and frustrating times.  The good, the bad, and the ugly. The ups and downs, times of feast and famine. The drive to become a Rock Star! Play guitar, tour the country in a bus, have girls chasing me down the street.  I have been at this quest for many years.  Do I still have the Dream!! Can I still become that "Rock Star." I might still have a dream but I am also a realist, at age 54 I think the only chicks chasing me down the street are going to be grandmothers. If my story is entertaining enough maybe I will get a book deal!  Once again I am a realist, but you never know, right? Maybe publishers will be chasing me down the street.  Maybe grandmothers will be chasing the publishers, walkers in hand. "Give that man a book deal" as they pop there dentures back in their mouths.  I love to entertain and my life as a musician is very entertaining.  At least my life is entertaining I will let you decide on the music part. So here we go, bad grammar, bad writing skills, horrible composition but a story no less.  Please don't grade me on my poor use of comma's, or lack of quotes but grade me on the humor I bring to the pages.   This is a story, (there are many stories like this one) but this is my story. A story about chasing a dream to be a rock star that has actually been more fulfilling than ever becoming a rock star. At least that's what the other rock stars tell me.
 

How Technology Changed The Band (At least my part)

When you say technology and music you get two schools of thought. First their are the purist or Old School Artist who have done everything the same way since the beginning of time and then their are the tech heads who look for new ways to reinvent themselves.  All my life I have enjoyed how technology has simplified my life. Now in my 3rd decade of performing professionally I decided to take a look back to the beginnings and reflect on how Technology has helped me saving time and energy in this fickle thing called the music business.

Now that I think of it there are way too many advances in music to write about without creating a book so lets just talk about one item that gets taken for granted.  Creating a set list.  You would think that picking out songs to perform and putting them in order was, well, not a huge task.  Hmm "Jessie's Girl"  lets play that in set two, 10th song.  That wasn't hard.  What else should we play? Whats new? hmmm (I'm listening to talk radio now so that is not a good barometer).  Hey First Lady " What else should the band play? I got "Jessie's Girl" on the list.  "Go away I'm Playing on my iPad". Hey that's an idea.  Lets check out this program on my phone called "Spotify".

Some would only see a program that allows you to listen to most any song you want to here but I see a set makers dream.  First of all I can research all the hits in a genre that I like just by pressing the radio button.  So I am listening to Paramore, and I hit radio and instantly I hear all the songs for that style.  The songs start playing and I simply move them to a list I created so I can vet them later.  The songs cover everything from 80's, 90's and today.  PERFECT!  What songs are popular? I can find that out by how many plays each one has so I know I'm in the ball park when I see a song with 50 million plays.  I then take the songs and arrange them into three set list by dragging and dropping them.  I need an hour for each list so instead of adding up times i just look at the overall time at the top of the list.  Instantly I know how long each set  list is so I don't have to guess.  I then want to share with the band, no problem, they subscribe to my lists, and they have them in order on their phones.  Need to practice? Still no problem, I just plug my phone into my guitar rig and play along.

One app on my phone takes the place of what used to be hours of work, looking at lists, recording all the songs on cassette, (OMG that took days, not hours, days) getting the songs to the band members, scribbling out a list on paper and re righting it many times to get the order correct, (Spotify just drag and drop) then coping the paper list at the drug store for 10 cents a copy, driving to the gig and distributing the list to everyone only to hear, "Really? Jessie's Girl in the 2nd set my voice is tiered by then"  Oh Brother...

Best investment I ever made

Back in 2006 I was working for a Ford dealership after I had gotten off the road as a full time musician.  A lady came in and wanted me to take a look at her car as there were a few pieces on the ground and she

didn't want to move it.  She was local so I stopped by and found a 1995 Red Ford Taurus with a broken front spring.  I towed it back to the shop and gave her the estimate to fix the spring which was now out of warranty.  She did not want to spend the money on a car with 165,000 miles on it, so she offered to sell the car. I bought the car and pulled the records at the shop and saw that she maintained oil changes and all the maintenance so I was comfortable paying what she asked. She sold it to me for $100.00.  I fixed the springs which cost about 200 bucks and started driving it.  Everything worked good on the car, even the air conditioning was cold.

Over the years I made sure to change the oil every 3k and I had to replace little things.  Back springs, Alternator etc.  Finally at 225,000 the transmission was slipping.  I did my homework and found a replacement for $200 which was under 100,000 miles and had a mechanic install.  Total price $500.  Not bad, the Air conditioning was still blowing cold and everything seamed to work on the car, even the cruise control.

Guess what?  It is now the summer of 2014.  I have owned the car for 8 years and have drove it daily.  It has just turned 300,000 miles and burns about a 1/2 quart of oil between changes. The radio is stuck on AM and there is some rust and dents but overall still solid.  Recently it saved me from a pretty major accident in which a big truck pulled out in front of me on the highway and forced me to do some fancy NASCAR moves to avoid total destruction. Who would have thought in the 1990's that with regular maintenance a car could be on the road 19 years.  My youngest daughter only remembers one car and she is now 9.  Both the girls never are embarrassed to be seen getting dropped off at school or ask to get rid of the "old junker" matter of fact it has been in the family so long it is almost like a family member.  I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it when I get a new car.  You can't just throw it away and with that many miles it might be hard to sell.

The only thing I know is that I saved the car from the junk yard many years ago and it has paid me back 10 fold.  It is the oldest car in the company parking lot and it has survived living outside in the Minnesota winters, driven my kids to 3 different schools,  numerous sets of tires, brakes, oil changes, trips to work, trips to the grocery store, vacations, being broke into, a couple of windshields and even a hail storm or two. I have an old golf club to prop the hood open when I need to check the oil.  There are coffee stains on the rug and you can pull the key out of the ignition when its running.  But like all things, it is showing age and I know there are not many miles left to be had. I hope to get through one more winter and then its time to replace with a new model.  My 100 bucks have served me well and guess what?  The Air Conditioning still blows cold.

How much could a woodchuck chuck??

First of all, it has been a while so thanks for hanging out with me.  I recently was talking to one of my
cousins, (large commodity in Kasson MN) about fire places.  He was bound and determined to sell me on the fact that a wood  fireplace is the way to go.  I am in a unique position because I grew up with a wood fireplace and now have a gas one.  Let me tell you the difference in my own creative way.

I sat down to watch a movie this winter and went to crank up the fireplace for a little warmth and atmosphere when all the sudden I flashed back to 1979.  The thought ran through my head, what would I be doing if I had a wood fireplace and not a gas one.  Well glad you asked.  First of all I would have to find a $1000 pickup truck.  You can't cut wood without a truck that is pre-dented and rusted.  I would then take a Saturday to go to the local Lowes and pick out a shinny new amputator..ahhh chainsaw.  I would need to pick out one that would not start on the first or second pull so I would have lots of 4 letter words to spout as I cursed the day away. Where would I procure the wood?? Maybe a local farmer would not mind me ransacking his grove so I could work out my back muscles that I forgot I had.

Oh there is more, much more!  So now I have to call the local rental company and rent a wood splitter so I can get the lumber into manageable pieces.  I un-stack the wood, split the lumber and re-stack making sure I cover with a tarp that I have to chase after on windy days . What am I up too in cost and time.  $2000 in truck, saw and rental plus 2-3 Saturdays and a couple days in bed to relax the aching back?? OK I am on the home stretch now.  I bring the wood downstairs an hour before my movie, dropping slivers on to the carpet that will soon find their way into the bottom of my foot. I stack an adequate supply next to the fireplace door which I can not see through since there is a buildup of soot from the last time I used it. So I grab the glass cleaner and spray the glass, dripping all over the newspaper I forgot to lay down...Crap!!   I then put the wood in the fireplace and strike the match. Forty five minutes later I now have a fire which I have to pause the movie for, so I can open the flue, close the flue, clear the smoke, swear at the ants crawling from the stack of wood and re-stoke for the perfect amber glow...

Or I can press the button on the front panel and sit back and enjoy my gas!

Obama care and the only 1 fact that matters!!

They say my grand fathers generation was the greatest generation.  There where quite a few advances in technology, and industry. So where am I going with this you ask?  How does this tie into Obama care? I want to talk strictly about the Government and only about Government. When you get done you will have the ONE fact you need to know about Obama care that will predict the future of healthcare.  So let me get out the numbers so we can compare the greatest generation to our current administration.

Pearl Harbor was bombed in 1942.  Shortly after that america went to war.  Between 1942 and 1945 american government produced:

22 Aircraft Carriers
8   Battleships
48 Cruisers
349 Destroyers
203 Submarines

Are you still with me...

99,950 Fighter Aircraft
97,810 Bomber Aircraft
23,929 transport Aircraft

Shall I continue:

105,251 self propelled guns (Tanks)
516,648 Artillery
1,477,400 Machine-guns
197,100 Military trunks

 and in 3 years this generation can't even put together one stinking WEBSITE!!

Black Friday or Thursday...or Countdown to Insanity???

OK everyone?  Not sure what to call this anymore.  Black Friday? Thursday? "The running of the Turkeys" ?? I understand why black Friday was invented.  Everyone has the day off so lets add in some bargains to get them in the store.  Black Friday has evolved from 8 am on the Friday after Thanksgiving to 6 pm on Thanksgiving.  Where will it end.  4 pm on the Wednesday before the Friday after the Thursday the last week of November?  Or perhaps 2 pm the Monday before the Wednesday before the Thursday just to spite the Friday after Thanksgiving.  

Sunday evening Sams club had there invite for Premium club members. So now its the Sunday before the Thursday...you know!! So once again we lined up outside 2 hours in advance in 15 degree weather. We still were 20th in line.  At T minus 30 minutes the manager starts handing out tickets for the Big TV we wanted.  Sure enough we were 3 people short and had to go away empty handed after an hour and a half in the cold. What did this accomplish for the store?? Did it build loyalty?  Sales?? In our case (me and the first lady) it meant it built a pile of resentment and hard feelings.

Why have a sale if you can't fill the obligation?  You know the losers are going to be pissed off at the least.  With the advances in internet why not make this available to everyone with a quick finger?? Now I have to wait for T-day interrupt so the First lady can go out and see if she can score the item we wanted.  Anyway I am way off topic.  Where will Black Friday find a home?  Who will take the lead and push it back to Friday where it belongs?  I guess we will have to wait till next year to find out.  As for me I think I'm gonna take someones advice that was standing in line.  "Why not spend the 4 hours waiting in line at work and just pay retail!" Touche!!

"Today's Youth" The new benchmark in laziness!!

    I was at a Quiznoes yesterday and it was late in the day.  The store was only open for 45 minutes but it was open...ahhh so I thought.  I went in with the "first lady" and was polity greeted by a young lad who let us know in no short terms that we were imposing on his early closing.  What the hell does someone need to get of of work early for on a Sunday night?   The bong will wait...cheetoes breath. I was once young and understand that getting done with an thankless job and hitting the town is a priority, but to basically tell someone to get out, that is pure stupidity.

     Kids don't want to work anymore and when they do they have no skills.  They can't greet you at the drive up, they can't communicate anything, they don't seam to think for themselves, and last of all,  lack all types of common sense. It's almost like they are pre-programmed with a script and if you go off topic they glaze over and become useless bags of malt-o-meal. After the Quiznoes disaster we went to Burger King and got cold food and wrong beverages, AND THERE WAS NOBODY THERE!!

What are we as adults doing to better this action or encourage.  Well for starters, without getting too political, we pass laws to encourage pot smoking.  Dole out food stamps and welfare for half the country.  Let me put it this way...If you see Dad smoking pot and collecting food stamps, what type of role model does that promote?  Letting the kids lay around all day doing nothing would have lasted about 30 seconds in my house.  We mowed lawn, baby sat, bailed hay, shoveled snow, all in our early teens. We wanted to work and make money.  Money meant new fishing gear, records or cassettes... freedom.  I hope to start instilling those values in my kids.

I recently visited Kohl's in Owatonna and had a small problem.  I wanted to use my khols cash on a recent purchase and needed assistance since I lost the certificate. (I don't know why half the store was pregnant but I don't think that had anything to do with the story)  Instead of the staff telling me "sorry" or "I can't help you with that" I got "hmmm that's a interesting problem lets do this..." they proceeded to fix the problem, save me another $50, and let me feeling great that I decided to do business with that store.  There is hope.  The jury is still out on meat-head at Quiznoes but there is hope!!

Going Going Gone!!

 

Never really paid attention to home accessories  but now since I am a new home owner I am trying to invest in nice, high quality items. I made a recent visit to the furniture store to look at nick knacks and other items.  (They always have the coolest accessories at the furniture place) I started by looking at the lamps for the bedroom set we bought and they were very cool but a hundred bucks each I thought was a little steep.  The guy said he could lower to around $65 until I asked to take the floor models. Boom scored both for $80.00.  So I started catching on to this "take it off the floor" idea.  I looked at the comforter set and it was price at $165.00.  Wow I don't think I have paid more than $50 on clearance for a bed in a bag set.  $165.00 seamed like a good chunk of change for sheets and a comforter.  I had taken another picture of one on my iPhone I really liked (the one in the picture), so I decided to seek that one out.  OMG $569.00  I thought to myself, they make stuff that expensive.  Paying $165, just maybe, but $569 NO FLIPIN' WAY!!  The sales clerk got tied up with another sale while I was pondering Overstock.com. I looked up the set online (lovin' the iPhone) $509 but on clearance for $87.50 No stock available. Could not find any online so I had only one option. Do you think I could talk my way into getting the one on the floor for the same $87.50?  Well I love a good challenge so with a little convincing, arm pulling, and distraction I now own a $565.00 comfortable, elegant, and downright cool bed set for the price of $87.50.  Who would have thought!

The next time you go shopping for a clock, bedding, lamps, or wall art, go to a furniture store.  Everything is negotiable, generally in great shape (Kids get off that!!) and ready to become yours for less then you think.  BTW Doesn't hurt to buy a crap load of furniture and hang that over the sales person head either.  

No more running with the bulls!!

Black Friday has now become "Red Thursday" Let me explain what this means to me and you decide.  A couple of years ago I put up a blog about Black Friday . I explained how it was my "Running with the bulls" Well with increased competition the retailers in there wisdom decided to move Black Friday to Thursday, and still call it black Friday.  I'm not happy at all, and its not about the invasion of T-Day, its stupid Idea that if you keep moving up the time you will get more people.

Me and the first lady used to look forward to getting up at 3 am, wrestling on the cold weather gear, coffee up, and stand in line with hoards of others checking our watches in anticipation of executing our strategy for procuring the latest electronics for ridiculously low prices. We would split up and 20 minutes later find each other and compare baskets.  We would be done and home by 10 am, gloating over the bags and boxes of merchandise we wrestled into our possession then go to bed for a nice and well deserved 3 hour nap.

"Red Thursday" is now starting at 8 am on turkey day.  My plan of attack is to drive home after our family gathering, go to bed and get up at 5 am, drive to work and stop at Walmart and see whats left.  I fell like I'm in the Grinch who stole black Friday.  Am I getting old? Tiered?  I don't know, I just miss the running of the bulls and maybe retail will figure this out or maybe next year Friday will be the Wednesday before Thursday.

WAR on Women

Get the tanks, grenades, and machine guns ready because war has broken out.  War against Terrorism?  War Against Drugs? NO! War against women.  WAR!  Really. When I think of war I think of people getting killed.  Are we really killing women now? Rest assured America is not killing women, but you should get the facts on what this so called war is about.

The war is on human recklessness not women.  Paying for and excepting poor decision making should not be  a tax payers function.  Let me explain, because this boils down to pretty much one point and one institution.  "Planned Parenthood."

When I was growing up in the 70's and 80's if you wanted to go engage in risky business you could NOT go to the drug store and purchase protection.  You would have to find someone of age (embarrassing), and pay  $20 -$30. The girl would often go to "Planned Parenthood" and get protection so the behavior could commence, (well at least if they were responsible). I was afraid to get my girlfriend pregnant so I just didn't engage in that much reckless behavior. To me this is my definition of morals and something "PP" does not recognize.

Today you don't have these obstacles. If you want protection you can go to Walmart and stock up all you want. Hell, schools were handing them out like candy. If you want to go on the pill, a quick visit to the doctor and you get a script for nine bucks. Congratulations! you don't have to risk an early induction into the grandparents club. but not so fast there sparky.

 "Planned Parenthood" now not only gives away birth control but promotes abortion and the morning after pill.  (Parents you don't need to know) So in sense you can go be as reckless as you want, not own up for your mistakes and our Government will not only pay for this behavior but encourage it. If your child was taking drugs wouldn't you want to be informed? Reckless sexual behavior, nah that is OK.

So where is the WAR, women?  Taxpayers are simply saying, go get your own $9 condoms. If you can't afford 9 bucks maybe you shouldn't be appropriating.  Go see the doctor, if your parents don't agree well maybe they might be right.  If your of age and can't afford protection, ahhh you might want to give up beer and cigarettes because a baby will cost much more. My guess is that if "Planned Parenthood" is so important there will be private funding for this.  Forcing taxpayers to pay for reckless behavior, well you decide if the WAR is worth the fight.  My stance is very clear and easy to understand.  If you want to do anything and everything with your life and you pay for it, God Bless, it is your decision.  Don't ask me to pay for something and expect me to not have a say. Women...there is no WAR on you or your vagina (MSNBC commentator comment)  There is a disagreement with the morals your asking me to financially support.  GO VOTE!!

Oh DEER !!

As I mentioned in my earlier post I plan on summing up the week in my humorous fashion so I may reflect on the week as time slips by. "Summers Over"  Well what can I say, no shortage of events to write about.  Lets start out with the car that refuses to die.  I have a 95 Ford Taurus that has just short of a billion miles on it. Why do a keep such an outdated car? Because it has to die on its own.  I paid $100 for this car 7 years ago and its still paying me pack for all the cars that left me hanging money wise. Last week the car was acting up and I knew it was electrical so I sent the car with the first lady to get a wire or two replaced, well it turned out the car need only one spark plug wire, one new headlight, the hood fixed...ahhh what? Yep the first lady clipped a deer on the way to work. I fully expected this to be the end but once again the good ole ford escapes with just another war wound.  This brings me to Friday.

 The first lady was supposed to have her hair cut on Friday, but because of circumstances beyond her control it was canceled, so she stayed home and just happen to record twin cites live which we never watch because Sean Casey was on the program promoting his new Imax film about tornadoes that I wanted to see which I would not have know if it weren't for the canceled appointment (your supposed to read that as one long sentence!) ..hmmm coincidence or other powers at work?? So we decided to go to the Cites Sunday and see the film and actually meet Sean Casey.    

But what happens when you go to the cites in and don't have lunch?  You have to stop at the only place the first lady has been dying to go to for years.  "Joe's Crab Shack"  For some reason every time we want to go we could not find the address or it was closed or something was weird.  Sunday was the day for everything to come together.  Planets are in alignment, all the stars are at full brightness, and the weather was incredible.  A string of good luck?? Perhaps.  My hard knocks account finally getting some payback?  Just maybe.  All I know is that if it wasn't for the Deer, maybe nothing else would have worked out so well for the weekend.  This week who knows where the wind will blow.  All I know is it is supposed to get colder, and we are going someplace warmer.  And no I don't expect to see any Deer there!

 

The Cookie Monsters !!

With summer coming to an end and the #1 and #2 going back to school, it was time to think about school lunches and what are we going to do.  Hot lunch? Probably not with the two picky pallets I have to cook for everyday. Cold lunch is the ticket. So off to the store to get lunch goodies.  What is the number one thing I have to listen to when shopping.  "Dad, why do you always have to make something why can't you just buy cookies."  "Because I am cheap and homemade is so much better." I swear that line never works. This is where the story takes a turn.

Since I have been working my part time job every weekend thePickupboys.com, the first lady has been hanging with the kids and last weekend decided to try her hand at feeding the cookie monsters. Now the first lady will be the first one to tell you she is very kitchen challenged.  Working the mixer to her is like driving a brand new car with a manual transmission!! What is the third pedal used for?? She looked up the recipe on the computer, excellent...now to execute the directions.  All the ingredients in the pool except for you mister brown sugar, you stay out on the side lines.  Whoops.  Well lets just say the first batch looked good but I refer to them as the diabetic cookies.

Second round the first lady nails it, knocks it out of the park.  WOW those are great M&M cookies.  In fact she was so impressed with the batch she decided to make another batch the next day just to validate the proficiency of her new found skill.  Now I'm not quite ready to open a cookie stand at the state fair but these were right up there in my top three best. Way to go First Lady, way to put the smack down on the kitchen and show it who's the boss.  Best of all, it is nice to hear "Dad can I have homemade cookie in my lunch?"